Forgiveness is an essential part of marriage. A marriage that lacks forgiveness is not bound to subsist. I can never forgive my offender, such statement goes along to mean that your offender is a perfect creature.
The question is who is perfect? Perfection can only be attributed to God.
“Forgiveness is a sword used in piercing the heart”
Mr Ben caught his wife in act of adultery, then he asked the August visitor who committed the adultery with his wife out of his home, his wife bursts in tears while asking her husband to forgive her. She was forgiven immediately, then her husband whole heartedly resumed his marital duties like bring romantic, being caring , make love to his wife. On the other hand his wife didn’t believe his action to her, she committed sucide week later.
Mr. Ben in this story committed the of fence of forgiveness to his wife, not withstanding that that he caught the wife red handed with another man committed adultery.
Now be the judge, is forgiving the wife the ultimate and the best thing to have done ?
Some families and couples forgive without forgetting. Forgive and forget are two identical twins. To forgive and forget have one common word “for” and two dissimilarities namely GIVE and GET, why? It is when you GIVE away your annoyance, vengeance, hatred, and grudges that you GET love, happiness , and fulfillment FOR yourself and partner. Therefore, when you forgive and not forget or when you refuse forgiving at all, you harm yourself and your partner and indirectly cracks the was of your family .
Even God created man and lemented why he created man and That glary shows that man or human beings change at any time. That your good husband or wife can tomorrow be a bad husband and wife, because change is the only thing that is constant but in all condition what will always make your spouse a better person is when the heart would always let go most things, otherwise you die of high blood pressure and life goes on.
“Un forgiveness spirit makes home lonely”
Once there is cultivation of unforgiven, the impact would easily be seen in the family. The children would observe the unusual attitude of their parents may grow with it.
Most times, their visitors are not properly welcomed, there will be no future planning for the family and this will usher in retardation in the progress of the family and finally unforgiveness is the father of untold hardship to the family because marriage is the only mysterious mathematic formula that has 1+1 = 1 instead of 1 +1= 2 why? Because there is forgiveness.
Husband plus wife = Easiness, because will not know that he is shouldering responsibility and the same is applicable to wife.
But where there is unforgiveness, even though husband and wife are living together, things will be cumber stone for them that is :
Husband plus wife = Difficulties, why? Unforgiveness will make the parties not to be shouldering responsibility together.
What else will unforgiveness do to your marriage? It breeds promiscuity. For the fact that you have made up your sexuality. There is no form of sex performed by these couples that will lead to satisfaction because the desire has been affected by the unforgiven spirit.
There are important reasons to forgive others who have hurt us or caused us pain, turmoil or stress.
While we may feel justified in holding onto any pain we experienced, the act of forgiveness is a powerful gesture for ourselves.
Why is it difficult to forgive?
Whenever we have an experience that affects our identity in some way, it can have significant long-term effects. It can be difficult to come up with reasons to forgive others because:
- We feel violated or hurt in some way.
- We experienced mental, emotional or physical pain.
- We believe we are no longer the same person as a result of an event.
- We believe something should or shouldn’t have happened.
- An experience or event becomes part of our identity or story.
- It’s easier to hang onto our pain than deal with it and find a solution.
The Costs of Not Forgiving
Even though we may have experienced significant pain, not being able to find reasons to forgive others will continue to affect us. If we choose not to forgive, it can:
- Affect our health and well-being, which can manifest itself as physical pain, illness, anxiety or depression.
- Place additional strain or stress on our relationships.
- Affect our ability to concentrate.
- Impact our ability to make intelligent decisions.
- Lower our self-confidence and optimism for the future.
What does it mean to forgive?
Forgiveness does not imply we condone or agree with something that happened, which may have affected us in a significant way.
To forgive someone is more for our benefit than for anyone else. Forgiveness is a choice.
When we choose to find reasons to forgive others, it means we’re deliberately letting go or any resentment, hurt or anger we’ve been holding onto. It’s about offering some type of kindness towards the person who may have hurt us.
This kindness may involve sending the person love, wishing them well and choosing to release the experience we had.
This does not mean what they did was right or justified. It means we’re now choosing to move on with our lives.
5 Powerful Reasons to Forgive Others
There are some valuable reasons to forgive others. As we fully appreciate these five reasons, we’ll start to reap its benefits and be better off as a result.
- You will start putting the past behind you. We cannot change anything that has happened in the past. Forgiving someone can be the start of the healing process, which will enable us to move on with our lives. As forgiveness is more for ourselves, we’ll be able to move forward and leave the past behind us.
- You will get out of victim mode. Past hurts, disappointments or pain can become part of our identity, if we allow it. The more we relive those experiences, the more we will associate with them. If we’re not careful, we’ll cause ourselves to be in victim mode and find it difficult to get out of it. Forgiveness allows us to reclaim our power.
- You will become emotionally stronger. It takes a lot of courage and mental strength to forgive someone that caused us significant pain. When we practice forgiveness, we’re allowing any negative emotions we’ve been holding onto to release. This can make us feel mentally and emotionally lighter, which can be very freeing. The practice of forgiveness will enable us to grow mentally and emotionally stronger.
- You will be able to mend or strengthen relationships. Any time we experience an event that causes negative emotions, we’re not the only ones affected. Others we interact with or are a part of our lives will be affected as well. By choosing to forgive, we’ll improve our emotional state, which means we’ll be more present when we interact with others.
- You will be more motivated to do something positive. There are many inspirational stories of people who experienced trauma or pain, give back to their communities in some way. A driving force behind it is they don’t want others to experience what they went through. When we forgive, we’ll want to improve how we do things and be a force for positive change.